Never Too Old

This piece is now part of an anthology on the aging experience called The Gift Of A Long Life, published by The Birren Institute For Autobiographical Studies. Copies of the book are available on Amazon.

I don’t pay much attention to birthdays, but this May was a major one for me. In the months leading up to it, I gained some much-needed insights about life that took me seventy trips around the sun to finally figure out. I'm sharing them here in the hopes it won't take you that long.

Yes, we're all getting older, but the Universe will still bend over backwards to work its magic if we simply ask. I'd been looking for a space to hold my art and writing classes for women needing a mini-break from life's challenges, but the rental costs for just a few hours were exorbitant. Running into friends, Jane and Steve, for the first time since Covid, I happened to mention my frustration. Turns out they were rehabbing a piece of property into an art studio, which they graciously offered up at no charge whenever I needed it. Just a coincidence? Not a chance.

Don’t be afraid to use the "L" word with someone other than your spouse or partner. I've always been kind of stingy with it until now. But when a health issue turned my world upside down in February, it was my open-hearted friends who saw me through, and I could not love them more. That emotion is meant to be shared, not held tight to the chest, so I  encourage you to be generous with telling people how you feel. A big dose of gratitude, if appropriate, couldn't hurt either.  

Acknowledge those simple pleasures like a good cup of coffee or watching the rain from the comfort of your front porch. It doesn't matter if yours are different than mine. The point is that when we're living in the moment, we notice things that might otherwise be taken for granted. And since small things make up such a large portion of our days, why not take time to truly appreciate them.    

Most of the future scenarios we worry about won't ever happen, so don't let “what if’s” sabotage your happiness. All my life, I've been a worrier, which has felt like a kind of insurance for holding something awful at bay. In reality, the only true insurance is believing that we are resilient enough to get through rough times. 

 So many aggravations are temporary, and learning to let go will help you live a healthier life. I used to joke about channeling my dad whenever I'd get in my car. Cursing and rude gestures were his thing and I remember how uncomfortable it used to make me and how stressed I felt as his passenger, while growing up. Now, I've finally given myself and my inner child the gift of silence when driving. It's so much more pleasant for both of us.

 I've read that people, as they age, often feel they're no longer seen in our youth-centric society. My solution is to try doing something nice for someone, (it doesn't have to be big) and watch how your invisibility cloak begins to shrink. One day at Aldi's, the couple parked next to me was frantically looking between their seat cushions for change so they could get a grocery cart. I gave them mine and said not to worry about the quarter. The woman's mouth dropped and she said, "Are you sure?" "Quite sure," I told her and we smiled and wished each other a good day. Can you imagine a world where a stranger isn't totally gob-smacked when another stranger offers a simple act of kindness?

 Regardless of age, you are the boss of you, so don’t give your power away. Also, trust that quiet voice of intuition when something doesn't feel right. Doctors are human and therefore, fallible. Anyone can upload a website these days and fill it with unvalidated information, and experts have their limitations and can't possibly know everything about a subject. Be unimpressed by fancy titles, ask lots of questions, and don't rush into something if you feel uncomfortable.   

 Create a simple wellness practice that you find calm and relaxing. Chair yoga or stretching routines, and definitely some breathwork. Many people are shallow breathers, which can lead to health problems down the road. Deep breathing, however, lowers blood pressure, relaxes the body and reduces stress. I did some research and began doing Qigong a few times a day. It's an ancient Chinese practice which includes gentle, fluid movement, meditation, and slow, easy breaths. Consider giving it a try. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.

 Figure out your purpose for being here. It doesn’t have to be newsworthy or lofty. But it can be your North Star when feeling unmoored in this frequently upside down world. I did a great deal of internal work the first half of 2023, exploring what worried me, what brought me joy, and rediscovering my own purpose. And now I have a brand new roadmap for this next phase of my journey, and I'm already busy making plans.

Put down your To Do list, step away from the cell phone, and try your hand at painting, writing, scrapbooking, knitting, or whatever else piques your interest.  Honoring your creativity is one of the most restorative self-care gifts you can give yourself. While so many people don't believe they're artistic, nothing could be further from the truth. It's all about leaving judgement behind and giving yourself permission to experiment and explore, realizing how worthy you are of the same time and attention you give to others.

Well, I think that's enough advice for the moment. Bottom line, do yourself a favor and take inventory of your life now and then. Get quiet. Go deep. Release the things that no longer serve you and open yourself up to possibility. We still have so much to give, and more of life to enjoy than we can even imagine.